Tag Archives: Lectio Divina

The Father Revealed

Lenten Devotional Day Two:  Deuteronomy 30:15-20

“..to love the LORD thy God, to obey his voice, and to cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days…Deut. 30:20”

Yesterday’s triumphant declaration of repentance (burning the house down,changing kingdoms) and love-filled vow to live this Lent season openly, transparent and vulnerable dawned into a day filled with failed expectations, fearful episodes of seeming disaster, a Monday morning pull the covers over my head start it all again kind of day.  And then there it is.  That verse staring at me as I think of how I chose moments of death today, instead of life.  Dead thinking, dead wisdom, dead works-

“Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster.” Deut. 30:15

That was the problem….I wasn’t listening.  I was busy congratulating myself on the decision to be an arsonist, looking for the kerosene and cleaning rags, that The Beautiful One had to orchestrate a near chicken killing, dog biting, pup in my care getting hurt kind of morning all before the first cup of coffee, to show me again that HE IS MY LIFE.  Looking back at the morning, I recognized the still small voice telling me NOT to let the dogs out.  But, that was just me right?

I have come to realize the whispers are so much more important than the loud clanging charismatic proclamations men make in the name of God.  To hear (SHEMA) IS to obey in the Hebrew mind.  If you aren’t obeying, you haven’t heard, if you haven’t heard you aren’t obeying it is one and the same.  The reality is I sat today and repented of the true sin of not trusting his voice.  That sin that echoes back to the Garden, that leaves me naked and ashamed.  Father, forgive me, I didn’t believe you. I thought I could do it on my own, I thought I could run my own life.  YOU are my life, you….alone.

Tonight as I bandage the wounds of the pup, The Gardender bandages mine with a gentle “I love you honey, sorry this happened on your watch-” and I cleave to him, and he holds me and I hear the scripture come again to my heart …”cleave unto him….HE IS YOUR LIFE”

Jesus said to her: I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, although he be dead, shall live: John 11:25

I turn my gaze to the familiar word love, and again pick up the shovel, turning over the words before me….Aleph* Hey* Bet* = Ahav….LOVE.  The word picture is one of a man standing with arms raised as in beholding a great sight in the middle of the word for father…Abba…Love is the Father revealed.

“Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you such a long time, and do you not know me, Philip? He who has seen me has seen the Father. How do you say, ‘Show us the Father?’ John 14:9 “

I could feel those words spoken over me, have I been so long with you, with YOU, that you don’t know me? I bow my heart and my head as I ask for a renewed love, a renewed understanding of the revelation of the Father to my heart.  A renewed reality that HE IS MY ONLY LIFE.  I don’t have alternative lives…I don’t have a Sunday life and a Monday life.  All life I experience flows from his hands…the good, the bad, the weird, the full, the empty.  To Him belong the fullness of my days, this is His life to live.  I surrender tonight Lord, the keys to the mansions of my heart. Every room is yours, nothing is off limits.  Come and take residence in the temple you died for, the temple you live for- I am yours.father-holding-hand

Hunting For Water

I opened my heart to the piercing rays of the Beautiful One this morning.  I didn’t mean to, it was just the way the choruses played during our Sunday morning reflection that lulled the guardians to sleep.  He slayed me with one glance of his affection, and that tender way of showing me what is distancing us from intimacy.  I could only look on as my heart listened to the passage from  Joel 2: 12:

Now, therefore, saith the Lord. Be converted to me with all your heart, in fasting, and in weeping, and mourning.”

I couldn’t move, my eyes were misty riveted to the page.  The NASB says:  ” Return to me”…I know return.  It is a repentance that involves burning your old place of residence in the flesh down, down to the ground below the foundation.  Sowing salt upon that place never to return…leaving nothing to go back to, it is a changing of the kingdom. From darkness into light.  As the Immerser said that fateful day when THE lamb walked upon the shores of the Jordan…”Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.”

I needed a turning. I was desperately in need of  an exchange in addresses.  I could feel the old key ring jingling the ways to the old house. The house that rejection built.  A strong fortified place of the ” I will nevers, and the they will nevers, ” statements of the soul that  had kept me safe for a long season.  Safe?  I didn’t feel safe.  I felt cold.  That was my statement to the Gardener as we journeyed down the mountain on icy roads to attend an ecclesia that felt like ice to my soul in need of turning.  “I’m wrong inside, I know it, but I can’t fix it”.   His quick glace from the wheel, and gentle answer began a thaw in my posture-

“Faith arises out of our helplessness, faith begins when the grace of God comes, unmerited, unasked for-faith rises to meet that”

I moved further on the page and wondered at the way the light shone around the word ‘fasting’  I could feel the shovel in my hands grow warm as I began to dig past what my mind told me I already understood, furiously turning over the soil of my understanding, frantic lest I remain frozen forever and lose the trace of light promising freedom and restored intimacy with the Keeper of my soul.

Fast-a verb. To abstain from food.


Hebrew:  tsome, from H6684-a fast

As I dug deeper I found in the gallery of the Ancient Hebrew picture language the painting for the condition of my soul. It is the picture of a man laying upon the ground (on a hunt) and the picture for water…it literally means ” the hunt for water”.  To be extremely dry and thirsty is the root word that abstaining from food comes from.  I could hear the sound of the water brook as the doe who was being pursued racing to find the place to shelter her from the attackers, to hide her scent from the enemy and drink of living water. I could feel her heart beating in my chest-

“-As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God.” Psalm 42:1

I was feeling thirsty again.  Hungry again.  Longing again to have nothing between us.  I would give up this old house,  this place I had built. I would be called out of UR.  I would journey onward longing for the City, not made with human hands. I would repent, I would receive forgiveness, I would give forgiveness. I would live transparent and vulnerable and I would pant for the water brooks of the river of my God.

This is how I turn.  Empty handed, exposed, helpless.  Faith rises to meet grace. I have only to ask a drink, and believe that living water is my portion.

deer waterbrook

Jesus answered and said unto unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. John 4:10